Just a minute ago

I've decided that I hate 'Cause invitations' on facebook.

Blooming Daisies

Summer has finally come and it's beautiful. It felt like heaven being caught in the warm summer rain earlier this afternoon. Might have gotten soaked, but it was totally worth it.

This year has flew by so fast. Sweet Jesus. Was filled with such drama. But in the end I'm always pouring myself out to deaf ears. Or maybe I don't appreciate the ears that are listening. Always reaching for what I cannot hold. I heard a qoute somewhere, I think it was a movie, about how we're always seeking approval from those who cannot give it.

But to hell and back we always go.

To the moon and back. The possibilty of all impossibilities

There's a grey cloud over Grahamstown this morning. Right in the mix with a beautiful sunny sky. It had me in awe for a minute as I wondered how and why sunny clouds could exist in the midst of such grey sombreness, My ever imaginative mind immediately started paralleling this with our existence. With life. Our generation to be more specific.
Our lives are a mass of sunny skies that exist in the midst of grey pungent filth. We are an acutely hybrid generation. I'm even tempted to call us a nonsense generation, but that would take away a lot from the beauty that could be found in our dramatic chaos and dark moments of derailed consciousness.
There's beauty in the chaotic clamour of life.
And all this I hypothesised after taking the time to walk outside at 7am this morning and looking up at the sky. A hybrid sky.
I know not why we exist. I may not even enjoy the depressing holes I constantly find myself in. But only when we know severity of the cold can we truly enjoy the warmth of the sun and hold on to those moments so they can entertain us when the grey clouds inevitably consume us.

S.I.N.G.L.E

Yes... I said it. The "S" word... Single.
So how many of you are single out there... what you're single too? Not? Well... uhhm... if you are... maybe you and I could... NOT!!!!!
Seriously! I've been single for a while now. At first I was like "OMG! I HATE IT!" I need someone in my life... sigh. After like two almost-flings in a space of what, three months, and lots of crying on a friend's virtual shoulder, I kinda got over it. Don't ask me how you get an almost fling; I happen to be the only idiot out there that can mange that...

I've realised it's quite easy to fall for someone really. It's TOO easy. And that's how it all started with the two almosts. You spend time with someone. You get to like their personalities, their quirks, then BAM! Like a gale force wind, it hits you... and you're like... hey? I could actually have a romantic relationship with this person then -
And that's where the ranting stops. Cause all's fair in love and war right? And besides, this is not supposed to be a soppy post about how sad and lonely I am and crave some female attention... Cause I'm not [sad and lonely that is...].
I've also realised that I often mistake the boundaries between a really good friendship and a potential relationship... Which often screws up everything. But you win some some and you learn some I guess.

Then, all of a sudden you start liking the silence; the solitude; the space; yourself and start thinking, "I could definitely get used to this".
I've learnt to entertain myself. To be my own company... Trust me, it's not as easy as it sounds. Cause often the most painful truths are the truths you never want to admit to yourself. But then when you're suddenly alone, you have nothing but your thoughts and your demons to occupy you.
You learn not to need anyone to validate you. You start tapping into your own power and your own strength... Welcome to a whole new world.



So to all the single women out there, my number is...

What I forgot to mention

What I forgot to mention really was that I make a really really bad blogger.
I can't keep up with this for shit. But alas... i said i would try.
So my vac... It's over now. heehee. It's been over for like two weeks already and only now I'm writing about it.
It was fine I guess. OK, maybe a bit better than fine, but not really AWESOME or anything to write home about.
I did manage to lose my phone and my wallet [which contained my drivers and my student cards] in the process.
I guess that's something I could write home about. I was shit scared when I had to tell my parents about it though. A million scenarios flashed across my racing mind, some filled with them flunking numerous objects at me, like the coffee table and such things.
But it wasn't so bad. They were quite chilled... Now that I think about it, maybe they were a bit too chilled... Hmmmmm.
So I went to Durban. Partied here and there. Lost my stuff now and then.
I never managed to secure a holiday fling though... hmmm. And that was top of my to-do-list. I promise it says NOTHING about me. I'm a very charming person... I should be.... I am.. Right?

Durban is beautiful by the way! I'd most definitely like to go back there. But maybe going to visit friends more than relatives, or people who won't restrict my exploratory tendencies so much.

.... So I guess that sums all of it up... heeehee

Homosexuality is NOT sexy

Homosexuality is not meant to be sexy.
It is not a trend.
It is not a fashion statement.
It is a struggle.
The sooner we realise that, maybe the less apathetic and progressive we will be.
People died.
Many are still dying, still being violated, still being killed off.
We must stop with the raging cancer of complacence, the raging disease of indifference.
HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT SEXY!
It is our lives, it is my life, and it is a constant struggle.
A religious struggle.
A political struggle.
It is NOT sexy.